Wednesday, March 7, 2007

A Woman's Place is in the Kitchen

Thinking back, I wonder how it is that I ever joined the Church...I am not the typical Mormon woman. I don't fit the mold. I grew up as a warrior, a defender, an adventurer. These are not words that one would use to discribe the typical Mormon woman...

There was a country song out, when Nerd Man (At the time it was more like Nerd Boy) and I were dating, "I Wouldn't Hit Ya, But My Girlfriend Might." Nerd Man got such a kick out of that song. He said it was written for me...a pacifist I am not.

So, it is with total befuddlement and wonder that I think back on my decision to join a church that sees women as little more than servants and baby factories. What was I thinking???

Nerd Man and I took the missionary discussions together while we were dating. Actually we took them many times over the course of two years. I remember the first set of missionaries distinctly, even though it has been...crap, 15 plus years...Time flies, Elder Runion and Elder Bishop. Elder Runion was new to the area. He had experienced great success in his last area and expected the same here. We were to be his first conquests. It didn't quit work out that way...

We had several close friends that were LDS. They arranged for us to start having the mishies over for dinner ever week and having informal discussions on religion...Nerd Man was raised catholic and not ready to be pushed into anything.

Picture it...there would be 8 or 9 of us for dinner including the mishies, with the oldest being Nerd Man who was a University Sophomore at the time. I would have loved to see the look on the Mission President's face had he walked into that! I remember one night after dinner, Elder Runion was reminissing about his pre-mission life. He had been an escort for the Miss Teen USA pagant. OMG! It was like having royalty in the house and it just so happened that the Miss Teen USA pagant was on TV that very night. Of course we must watch, after all we had an insider in our midst.

At one point during the meat market, Elder Runion commented that this would be much more enjoyable with some refreshments. No one made a move for the kitchen...Elder R then turned to my girlfriend and me, informing us that we needed to learn that a woman's place was in the kitchen or we would never be able to find an RM willing to marry us. "After all," he continued,"Hot bodies are lost after a couple of kids, but an attentive wife and a good cook can last a lifetime. And that is what the men will be looking for." WTF?!?!?!

To my total embarrassment, I just sat there dumb. Probably the one and only time in my life that I have kept my mouth shut. I really wish that I would have decked the jerk. In the end he got his. The next time we were to meet with them, the ward missionaries shwed up instead. They informed us that Elder R and Elder B had been transferred to a bike mission in the southern part of the mission...the weather that night reported that it was 115 in the south.

4 comments:

Astarte Moonsilver said...

Wow, reading this post brought back memories.

When I was 13, we got the "lessons" by two 20 year old jerks who came around lunch time, whether my mom was home or not, hung around almost all afternoon, and after we fed them twice, they finally headed out the door. This happened repeatedly, even when my mom was working they would come over, and there were no other adults around. Could have easily turned into one of those horror stories of molestation and abuse, but these guys just wanted to hide out for 6 hours a day, and take advantage of young kids. They were responsible for breaking some stuff, but blamed it on my younger brothers when my mom asked them about it. So, she ended up going to the Bishop and complaining, and they got moved COMPLETELY OUT OF OUR AREA.

For about two years, we didn't have missionaries at all, and the ward members actually BLAMED us for causing such a fuss about their visits. If we hadn't complained, then there would have been new missionaries assigned to our ward eventually, blah, blah, blah.

I was 13 and the oldest. There was absolutely no excuse for two 20 year old men to be in our home for hours on end with no parent around, yet it was OUR fault that they got transferred out.

This was 23 years ago, but STILL makes me mad to think about it.

Stupid Cult.

An Enlightened Fairy said...

WOW! That Elder had some real kahonas suggesting that! I wish you would have decked him!
The sad thing is, I have known so many men in the church that truly believe that.
Great story! I'm glad I found your blog. :)
Caryn

kitten said...

Now don't get me wrong, but I'd rather be the one washing dishes in my house as hubby's so darn slow, it's take a week to wash one nights dishes lol. But I really can't get over some actually saying that!

Sister Mary Lisa said...

Wow. That is so crass and immature for that guy to say that. But totally spot on. I bet he learned it in church lessons, and maybe at home too. Ugh.