Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Fast and Testimony and the Little Fishy

Fast and Testimony Meetings were my absolute favorite part of church. There are days where I still miss sitting captive, listening to the most intimate details of strangers, I mean ward members lives. There were times when I learned more intimate details about these strangers' lives than I even knew about my own family's lives.

Boy, I just miss the feeling of that sweet spirit when Sister Center-of-the-Universe would get up to tell us the details of her latest Colon Hydrotherapy for her Crones Disease and how she KNEW that the suffering that she went through was a gift from Heavenly Father, it was her refiners fire.

I remember one Sunday Sister Center-of-the-Universe approached the podium, tears already gleaming in her eyes. I briefly wondered if I should cover my children's ears, least they ask me what a colon is or what rectal stretching means. But much to my surprise, this F & T Meeting was to be different. You see, Sister COTU had a very difficult life and the Lord knew this. Even though she had six health, happy, productive children; a 6500 square foot house that was paid for; 2 brand new cars; a kind and generous husband that just happen to be the owner of several very profitable businesses...she had a VERY hard life. Now, I am not one to judge another's hardships. I know that everything is not as it seems on the outside and I would NOT want to walk a mile in ANYONE else's shoes, no matter how comfortable they may look. But I am also not one to look at life as something to endure, I try to look at how marvelous and wonderful it is. I believe that you find what you are looking for. If you think life sucks, it does. If you think it is a glorious wonder, it is.

Back to her testimony...the previous night Sister COTU noticed that one of her two remaining fish had died and the last lonely one was looking a little peeked. So Sister COTU pleaded with her Father in Heaven to spare her little fishy, she told Him that she had endured so much in life, that she simply could not bear to endure this too. Sister Center of the Universe openly wept as she poured her tale of sorrow upon us. But she knew that Heavenly Father listens and answer every prayer, and so it was with her tale. Father opened the heavens and poured out blessings upon her and her little fishy and he was healed! She knew the Church was true, because her fishy lived! InthenameofJesusChristAmen!

If I believed in the world as she sees it, I would have wondered why Heavenly Father saved Sister COTU's little fishy and yet when my 19 year old niece pleaded with Him to not take her father that she still needed him, he died. Oh, that's right, my niece isn't Mormon...


Pete Dunn said...

Sister COTU needs to read up on causality and cause & effect disconnect.

Nice going on the new blog. Keep it up.

The Sacred Sister® said...

Oh dear gawd... where do they find these people? I have heard many similar stories and it never ceases to amaze me how stupid and gullible these people are.

The even funnier thing is, if the little fish had died, she would have been up there crying about the joy of eternal fishy families, heavenly fishes plan for mormon fish, the fishy Celestial pond and outter pond scum ruled by lucifish.

I have an even stranger one that was told in sacrament about a puppy. I may have to write about it in my blog... some of these stories are too good to keep tucked away!
Thanks for the laugh... :) Do tell more!

JustMe said...


Celestial Pond and Lucifish!! I love it!

I look forwad to reading your puppy story. I really enjoy your blog.

JustMe said...

Thanks, Pete. Reading your blog is actually what started me blogging.

I love having a voice and knowing that someone is listening and understands.

Equality said...

Love the new blog. The exmo blog universe is ever expanding. I'm adding you to my blogroll at Equality Time. Do you ever visit Further Light and Knowledge message board?

Eight Hour Lunch said...

Nice post. It's amazing how people find ways to be miserable in the best of circumstances.

Just one of many said...

ROTFLMAO!!! I almost wish I could strap my garmies back on and attend a "Starve & Carp" meeting again... Love your posts...can't wait to read more! :)

JulieAnn said...

Hi Just Me~
Sacred Sister linked me to your blog and I must say, I enjoyed it--you remind me of some other smart ass I know...LOL I'm glad that the little fishie survived, though. What a BLESSING.