Saturday, March 3, 2007

Me

Greetings and Salutations! This is my first attempt at a blog. I have been lurking for the past year...mostly around the bloggernacle and exmormon.org...strange combination, isn't it? There is something so empowering about being able to post your thoughts, feelings; life really, out there for the world to see...anonymously of course.

So here I go...

Where to start? I have thought about this a lot, since most of my experience is with Mormon or ex-Mormon blogs...Where do I fit in?

I am a convert to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. My husband and I were baptized almost 12 years ago, shortly after we wed. My 3 children were all blessed and are children of record. My husband and I have held numerous callings over the past 12 years. We have also experienced periods of complete inactivity and possibly apostasy...well, ok maybe just me. Am I Mormon?

That is the question of the day...or maybe of my life.

I think that it basically boils down to this, I wish with all my heart that I was Mormon. As I re-read that, it sounds kind of strange, but it's the truth.

I grew up in and still live in an area that is highly populated with LDS. I grew up watching my friends' mothers volunteer in our classroom; bringing in homemade cookies, always with an angelic smile on their lips, a baby in their arms and a toddler clinging to their legs. I watched my friends head off to Primary Activities, Young Women's Camp and Missionary Farewells for their older brothers. I grew up watching the commercial on TV where the husband and wife are driving down a country road, lost and bickering when they run out of gas. On the walk to the Gas Station, they start to laugh and joke with each other. When they reach the Gas Station, the attendant asks if they would like a ride back. They laugh, smile at each other, tell him no thank you and walk off back to their Jeep hand in hand as the viewers hear, "Best friends make the best marriages. A message from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints." This is the life that I desperately wanted.

I wanted "that" commercial, "that" dream, but the truth is you can't have the commercial. No one can, it doesn't exist.

2 comments:

Threads of the Divine said...

Wouldn't it be great if this type of life was possible? I know exactly what your talking about. Wishing you were Mormon. Welcome to the dark side. J/K. Clearing your mind and figuring out who you are now and what you believe is a real challenge. I liked your post about bringing the ashes to the chapel. People are funny.

Sister Mary Lisa said...

This is a great blog. I appreciate your sentiments, and I can relate very well.

Your next post about taking time with your kids at the same time trying to provide every thing, soccer, softball, swim lessons, vacations, fun times, happiness, really struck me as that's my life right now, and it feels already like something's gotta give. We are only into the first week of practice!!! Oy.