I Just Want You to Know How Much I Love You!
From the outside looking in, Mormonism is a blast. Kind of like a sorority/fraternity, instant friends, fun activities, tons of support and fellowship...who wouldn't want to join?
When I was first investigating the Church(funny use of that word, isn't it? Investigate, just not too deep.), a lot of my friends were active in the Church. I would attend YW with my girlfriends, FHE at different friends' homes, church dances and even early morning seminary. Suddenly I was very popular, ALL the LDS kids wanted to be friends with me..."Oh, your investigating the Church? How wonderful! Do you want to join us on Friday night for a scavenger hunt? We would love to have you!" People I had never even spoken to were suddenly calling me and inviting me out. Truthfully, it was kind of weird.
I have always been a very private person, with a close, intimate group of friends. I have never been one for lots of acquaintances. In the Church, it is impossible to live that way. After all, we are one big family, Sister.
Particularly disturbing to me then and now, was the use of absolutes and the exageration of feelings. "I want you to know how much I love you!" Love me? We barely know each other!!! This completely devalues the meaning of these words. If you 'love' me and we have only known each for a short period of time, then what words do you use to discribe your feelings for your husband? Your children? Your parents? It reminds me of a line in an old Culture Club song, "Love means nothing in some strange quarters."
How disengenoius it is! The manipulation of friendship to encourage young adults to join the Church...almost cultish.
4 comments:
True, that whole thing about telling acquaintances that you love them is weird. Although it was especially for fellowshipping converts, it wasn't exclusively that -- it was also a standard feature of the spiritual/emotional bonding testimony meetings at the end of activities such as Girls' Camp. I wrote a little about it in my story here.
BTW, I'd like to add you to my list of LDS-interest blogs -- should I list you as a Mormon or a post-Mormon?
Thanks, C.L. I have been reading your new book online, I am really enjoying it. It is very interesting to see the church from the point of view of a child/young adult growing up in the church. Actually watching my children grow up in the church, is what started me thinking and lead to our leaving.
Please list me as post-Mormon.
On a side note, my husband and I live out of the U.S. for several years as well. We were in South America.
Thanks, I'm glad you like it!!!
What part of South America were you in?
We lived and worked in Argentina.
The American Misshies loved us...It never failed, 6:00 p.m. just as I was setting supper on the table, there would be a knock at the gate.
In a country where the population routinely eats dinner after the Misshies are required to be in for the night, these young American boys were very grateful to join our little family for dinner several nights a week.
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